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09-01-04, 03:16 PM | #1 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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Torn Apart (topical)
IP: F35B 7D25
Vows, God’s Cement ta’ Humanity… War, The neva’ Ending Struggle of Sanity This Man…He was Caught up in both, but Actually… Just down the Road he’d be Tripped up in Tragedy… Newly Weds, Fresh Love…It’s Mostly In Truth …but, Sometimes You Get some False in it Too. **Holding a Picture of She** “I neva’ Thought it would come down ta’ this… Truthfully, I always thought Id be Bound ta’ this… …I gotta go Though, Love, I’ll be back when I can When you were Cold… I’d Gently start Rubbin’ ya’ Hands Don’t Forget what we have… I think it’s all I’ll Remember We’re bound ta’ Eachotha’ like Metallic Cells to a Sinner…” Off in the Jungles… Wars Heat Hot Like a Kettle Explosions so Potent it’s hard not ta’ get Shredded by Metal He fought day an’ night… Barely Able to Go On Her 2x2 the only thing Helpin’ him Stay Strong He wrote Off an On; it Always Varied in Phrases… He’d Write about Battle, or tell Her of the So many Faces Places… he wished he was Someplace else altogether Till one night he was wounded… Dieing ...He wrote his last Letter: **Raining** Dear Love’ here comes my last letta’… It seems to me this fuckin’ War will neva’ let up… **Bomb Flashes – Gun Shots** In case I neva’ told ya’, I love ya’, don’t let this news bring ya Pain Before I met you I was just a Dusty Crop…you brought the Rain Inside your Soul I’ll Remain, I await-- **Shouting** Wounded and Hurt with Sharp Shards in his Stomach… He hear’s his Troops Cries just up Over the Summit The Line Wont Hold, it looks like all is Lost… Slowly he puts in his Mind why he Fought, To what Cost As Death Breaks Loose and Topples over in Herds He realized his Love’ will neva’ hear his last Words ‘Could Care Less about his Life…this Moment…what he could See All he wanted was ta’ share Eternity with his Meant-to-be… Meanwhile he’s being Showered in Sparks …Slowly The Grim Reaper Appears in the Dark Delirious, he Begins ta’ Mumble in Starts “…I often Wonder who it was that said War was Art… I bet he neva’ had his fuckin’ Heart Torn Apart…” . . News Finally Reached Her but she never even Summoned a Preacher Excited and Jumping she could barely Manage her Features Men all around, they follow her everywhere like Glue Always talking about how they wanted some of the pay-off she Grew …See, He was Rich and went to War for his Country She Married him Solely Because he had Money… Alone with Herself…She Slowly Slid off her Ring Clutched it in Hand and Tossed it Down in the Sink She had waited to long, She was Just Born in a Park... And So Silently, She Murmured . . “Finally…Torn Apart”
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
Last edited by Mentalz : 09-24-04 at 12:38 PM. |
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09-02-04, 06:09 PM | #2 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: F35B 7D25
Uppin'
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-02-04, 07:43 PM | #3 | ||||
O.wning Y.ou D.aily
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IP: 1772 B262
Tight.....all I can say, TIGHT!!!!
Shit had me mad at the end though.....lol
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09-02-04, 08:04 PM | #4 | ||||
$Thug Life$
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IP: 7113 B39E
one word DOPE...
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OutLawz
*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
«´¨`·..* G_$peed *..·´¨`» *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)* _____________________
Hot Songz
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09-04-04, 03:25 AM | #5 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: D35B 3F85
Thanks for the Feedback Uppin'.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-18-04, 01:11 AM | #6 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: D35B 3F85
Damn stop sleepin on my baby
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-18-04, 11:36 PM | #7 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 3240 794D
dang that sucks a girl could be so coldhearted and emotionless...wow, this was like a movie or something...it was like being in the cinema...really nice...
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09-18-04, 11:45 PM | #8 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
wow, very lovely setup and flow in this, it made me kinda sad tho, it sucks,that bitch damn,,lol, this was a dope drop tho, i liked the thopic a lot, it was different, and a pleasure to read, keep it up
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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09-18-04, 11:54 PM | #9 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: 1DE1 4761
Haha, ya whata' bitch huh. Thanks for the feedback, leave some links or whatever, i'll check out some of your drops. Peace.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-23-04, 06:29 PM | #10 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: F35B 7D25
uppin last time, lookin' for a bit more feedback.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-23-04, 06:46 PM | #11 | ||||
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IP: 3240 794D
wow mayn
shit was movie like I liked it alot whats da diff between poems and open mics? lol o well can you check mine too? I only got one crit and it was from a crew member peace
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The Competition
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09-28-05, 07:05 PM | #12 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: A2CF 2639
Old drop, but i'm lookin' to do more poetry soon, so i'd appreciate any feedback... thanks! (I WILL return all feeds)
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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