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Old 01-16-06, 12:03 PM   #1
Wicked One
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Remember Me

IP: 0825 899A

Sitting alone again, decisions of precision thoughts of where to begin
laying down all sins, hands gripped on grim, drunk as fuck with the spins
figure it like division, cables out no television or society to live in..

Switch it for the kids... terrible storms in all directions, have an inspection
cut it open wide like a dissection, pull the guts out with an erection
love the sight of blood, but lost with no direction, shunned from birth
to street protection still walking with the scars of failed c-sections..

Dissapointment on schedule, daily appointment, no medication or ointment
spoiled oil smoked over a heater coil, not knowing what murder meant
so curfews givin from judges convictions and indictions till prison
but only something like assumptions are given but not forgiven
locked up just for livin, but thats my minds decision..

Stashed underground a little taste of hypocracy from deaths sounds
how profound but proud to die a peice of shit, but thats being steep
6 feet deep, wrists slit from the ankles to the teeth, breathed in poisons
are annoying but I cannot avoid the toying smell of living hell
born and raised by satan himself, no powers to dwell
just angst to share amongst myself but nobody else..

Like ghosts we boast a characteristic not seen by normal folks
its hidden and surrounded by sharp spokes and a guillotine hanging
from a rope, when you spoke I broke my neck, I caught a glimpse of you
before death........................remember me, cause your next..
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Old 01-16-06, 12:13 PM   #2
Kawn Flixx
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Drop two links homie or this will be closed then ill leave feedback.
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Old 01-16-06, 12:20 PM   #3
Wicked One
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Old 01-16-06, 12:29 PM   #4
13th.
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nice flow.....love the story behind it....dope imagnery...overall a dope piece!!!

keep it up man!
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Old 01-16-06, 04:04 PM   #5
Critic
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Dam fam that was dope !!! the whole story had me gripped from the jump.

Really feeling your flow and your rhyme scheme I like the inners, vocab was
nice imagnery was dope everything was just really well written.

really dope piece stay up fams

1~
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Old 01-16-06, 04:53 PM   #6
Bonafide
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This was good, loved the story. It flowed really well for me. And the vocab was really good in this, loved the internal rhyming. Imagery and emotion was all in there too. My favorite line was definately: "6 feet deep, wrists slit from the ankles to the teeth, breathed in poisons" I loved that line. Good drop man, keep it going. Please RTF on any of the links in my sig.
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Old 01-16-06, 08:09 PM   #7
Wicked One
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Aight Cool Cool..

Anyways Uppin...
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Old 01-16-06, 10:13 PM   #8
Mentalz
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Nice concept man, vocab was abundant, flow was good, though it fell off in a spot or two in my opinion. A few areas seemed forced to me aswell.

Best lines:
"Stashed underground a little taste of hypocracy from deaths sounds
how profound but proud to die a peice of shit, but thats being steep
6 feet deep, wrists slit from the ankles to the teeth, breathed in poisons "

Keep the OM's comin' man. Appreciate it if you rtf on Blow It in my sig bro.

Peace.
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Old 01-17-06, 03:29 PM   #9
Wicked One
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Thanks for the feed yall....Uppin..
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Old 01-20-06, 01:58 PM   #10
Wicked One
Ill Nigga Alert.
 
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upppin...........
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Old 01-25-06, 12:01 AM   #11
I Am Unreal.
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This was alright I thought. Felt the emotion, wasn't really feeling the imagery all too well. Had lots of internals which kept the read at a fast pace with a good flow - helped suit the way you ended it off. It was well written but meh, I dunno... just thought it coulda been better if you took more time on it thats all... Decent drop all in all though, respek.
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Old 01-25-06, 01:17 AM   #12
allik war
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nice drop homie i agree wit everyone seemed 2 me everything was on point from start 2 finish...keep doin ya thing...rtf on my new drops new shit and mortal kombat...peace
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Old 01-31-06, 02:23 PM   #13
Wicked One
Ill Nigga Alert.
 
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Upppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin
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Old 01-31-06, 04:03 PM   #14
Da Fox
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ay yo this shit was dope.
nice drop
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