in art class when i was in in school suspension, my art teacher gave me a painting to look at. It was a old black man, sitting on a park bench, with a weathered, sad expression on his face, and i beleive a beer in his hand. it inspired me to write this.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1499139

magically//
tragedy and poverty's intertwined in a contrast tapestry//
contrast to happy it has to be//
after weeks//
of unfortunate happenings//
still have the seeds of sinful acts to reap//
broken soul and home that's candle lit and bleak//
interwoven to surprise//
immortally moist eyes//
cascading with grief//
emitting a small cry for the weak//
so easy to me//
to continue an endless cycle of self pity for loss of the dreams//
that keep me from crossin it seems//
this line thin as string//
my life's wide as a hair and it's losing it's lenghth//
with each use of a drink//
to lesson self abuse when i think//
about how life's through in a blink//
sometimes we're all on the brink//
sometimes i wish 'good' was a pool that i could fall in and sink//

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it had the vocab flow but your punches were wack
vocab: 7/10
flow: 6/10
punches: 3/10
ovverall 5/10 it was alright now the greatest

it's not a battle verse, buddy. So it's not meant to have punches.

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Not to bad but I wasnt feelin the beat. Still some nice flowin and you could really see the picture in your head.

You need to elevate you also need to obey rules


Read the rule about link's. if you want this open mic to stay open.

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S-Own Squod
RB Text Tourney Finalist
Orginal Relaunched Member.
Password Aka The Masked
2nd Moderator on Rapverse Ever
Not quite legendary yet....