RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 08-30-04, 04:30 PM   #1
LyRiKaLMiRiKaL
Banned: Biting
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Aug 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
A Modern Jesus

IP: 3FCF 03A9

A Modern Jesus

Pavement pounding at my feet, the grip of hate pounding at my chest
Shadows cast no light that surrounds me, I've been taken down like the rest
I struggle down this street, torn down buildings crawl across my eyes
Dress in these shreds, and dirt, I cannot cover up wit disguise
I bear all, watch me, scream obscenities as I pass
But sins are forgiven, so your taunts cannot last
Oak coffins sit in the middle of my journey
Blood trickles down off my thoughts, the same thoughts that scare me
Crucify my battered body, but wear my crucifix
I will die for you, struggling as I take the licks you dish
2 men lay before me, I am viewed at their status
So as I take my place with thieves and murderers, and lie down in my casket
You can bury me as deep as you want, I will still ascend
Sacrificing for you, in a place called Heaven.
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-04, 07:23 PM   #2
LyRiKaLMiRiKaL
Banned: Biting
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Aug 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3FCF 03A9

some feedback would be much appreciated thank you....
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-04, 06:18 PM   #3
fluidmoon
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
 
fluidmoon's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,183
Joined: Jun 2004
From: NEW YORK
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 2-0
IP: 28AD 5545

nice piece, very difficult to capture jesus' thoughts and feelings for obvious reasons, but deep enough to consider that we are all one and feel all, nice portrayal though and imagery in the scenes you described, good job on this..........1
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-04, 11:41 PM   #4
BZ No Mercy
Banned: Cheating
 
BZ No Mercy's Avatar
 
Posts: 99
Joined: Jul 2004
From: Oklahoma City
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 1FE7 4C2D

Nice, def feeling that dawg, that is REAL..thats what I'm talkin about...
Send a message via AIM to BZ No Mercy   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-04, 12:02 AM   #5
SycklyFlowetic
Flyweight
 
Posts: 58
Joined: Aug 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 4934 7AE9

this one wasnt as good as your other one, but still not bad
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-04, 12:07 AM   #6
LyRiKaLMiRiKaL
Banned: Biting
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Aug 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3FCF 03A9

thanx for all the feed fellas
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-04, 03:47 PM   #7
selah david
New to RV
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Aug 2004
From: Detroit
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F694 DF56

I like the imagery but sometimes I get a little sensitive about jesus comparisions, like jay-z and the whole jay-hovah (jehovah) thing. But I'm intersetd in you explaining to me what this poem is about and why you wrote it. So holla back at me.

Selah(think about it)

Check my poem "higher" in the open mic sec. It's dated 8/9/04. And check the explanation behind my signature "Most Intellects Do Not Believe In God". It's in the Lyricist Lounge and it's dated 9/2/04
__________________
Politics and politrix are the same thing because the whole point of the political process is to trick us into giving a particular candidate our favor. So why do people feel so clever when they use the word politrix?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-04, 08:16 PM   #8
G_$peed
$Thug Life$
 
G_$peed's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,589
Joined: Jul 2004
From: The Hood
Status: Offline
IP: 7113 B39E

um i was feelin yo poem man...
__________________
OutLawz

*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
«´¨`·..* G_$peed *..·´¨`»
*(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*
_____________________
Hot Songz
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:39 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.