Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
09-03-04, 09:56 AM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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I'm A Soldier
IP: A142 3783
Any given day we stay strapped wit two gats that’ll end your life for a fact//
What we pack you dudes simply lack and we stack our guns wit bullets that explode on impact// Expect a war when we come wit the four that buss more then a slutty whore// The 5th sounds like a lion roar and when the eagle bullets soar you should already know your hittin the floor// Not enough smarts and to much heart makes us grab them hawks and slice ya body apart// After the slicing get buried in the park that way the cops gotta be Dora and explore to find ya parts// When the shotguns blast I suggest you duck that ass or end up in a full body cast// Put niggas on they ass when they talk that trash I make sure a bullet in they gut give em a big gash// I’m a soldierz so I move at night every step is slight until your right in my sight// On the building wit the scope waitin for the green light…one shot outta the rifle is all it takes to end the fight// I move wit the hawk like I move wit a sword so it’s a stab to the neck that sends you to the lord// Make you like children under the stairs cause your body will be livin under the floor boards// I’m nothing nice cause I move so precise wit a heater device// That’ll cause you your life so think twice before you talk and just roll like some dice// I roll wit angels cause they know my hands are always ready to strangle// The tech blast leave ya body mangled…and believe me this is true like Kurt Angle// I shot and aim and leave no more of ya body standing// My aim is outstanding cause one shot outta the nine will leave a scare of your body like you got branded// Drop Me Some feed..... |
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09-04-04, 08:29 PM | #2 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: A142 3783
uppin...can I get some feed? I'm given everybody eles feed. Damn!
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09-04-04, 08:54 PM | #3 | ||||
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IP: 3240 794D
i'm sorry this isn't really a crit
but you should structure it better cuz ppl look at ya verse and get woozy but when they see a name by your post thewy should crit it anyway though
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The Competition
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09-05-04, 09:25 AM | #4 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 12C2 226A
yo shit is hella wack you cannot rap dogg
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09-05-04, 03:07 PM | #5 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: A142 3783
w/e nigga...what kind of fuckin feed is that? Even if it was wack tell me what the hell I did wrong..not some stupid shit you said. Battle me...the only way it'll get settled.
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09-05-04, 03:50 PM | #6 | ||||
$Thug Life$
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IP: 66F2 AB19
yo man elevate no hate...
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OutLawz
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Hot Songz
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09-05-04, 04:07 PM | #7 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: A142 3783
there is no hate...well there is. I hate it when people type stupid shit like he did. I understand if he was like I didn't like it..you need to elevate. He types stupid shit.
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09-05-04, 07:34 PM | #8 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 8BF5 E923
yer man yah verse was pretty weak i would have to say if u fix yah structure up and get some flow happenin u should elvate more on ya battle then drop some more keys and elevate to the fullest just get real active and practice but mayne yah verse was SHIT no hate
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killing fake emcees like a Isolated~Orphan/ u think u have skills step to me so i can Dislocate~ur~Organs// |
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09-05-04, 08:00 PM | #9 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: A142 3783
just like ya record...nah, thanks for da feedback. I'll battle anybody if they want to.
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09-05-04, 09:05 PM | #10 | ||||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 9BAC C716
yea u needa elevate, u got potential, u gotta make ya shit mo complex and wit hard punchez, stay up^
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09-05-04, 11:53 PM | #11 | |||||
Blow Me
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IP: 7D7A FF3D
yeah dog u gotta elevate.. not bad for a newb but if u elevate u can get better fo sure
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My Lines Are ILL yo |
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09-06-04, 06:52 PM | #12 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 6804 D41F
Better structure... Kinda weak too. It only got worse as I read. The first 2 or 3 bars were pretty good. But ya man, keep practicin. i sucked my first spit too but Im way better now. At least I think so.
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0-0 (Current Battle Pending) x.See It.x District of Authoriy G-Quad Fam Fab 4 Eastside and the Fab 4 Jrz |
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09-06-04, 06:57 PM | #13 | |||
-BTR-
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IP: C9BE D7EA
yeah it was alrite but u need to work on ur structure. i think u were tryin to fit in too many words so the whole thing wasnt balanced. but jus keep workin on that and u'll get better. i like the idea though
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09-06-04, 07:08 PM | #14 | |||||
Bonecrushing Nigga
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IP: E587 9CBA
yours wasiight ya ahd some messed up strucutre and flow but it was iight
feedback my open mic http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=147094
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...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
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