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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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09-24-04, 09:33 PM
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#1
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A Way of Life
IP:
ok this is my 2nd Poem my poems are always used to improve life and change the way we live here I go.... Title:A Way of Life Let's Discuss...your Discust... for the way you live... why must you thrust the fuss..life's just is what it is... See the green on the grass...and not the dirt from the past... and the your life will pass...and the positive nature will last... Think of ways to improve....and not everything to lose... so you won't expose the wounds...of the cities mood... it's rude to point with fingers..but not to point out the events... that bring us down like killing theivings and all the drug dealings? which is the attitude that keeps....the cities status as weak... we will ever reach our peek if we don't seek...the peace... complaining creates violence...and Voilence creates Pilots... being Hijact which created the 9/11 sightings.... ~finished~ please crit peace 1luv
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The Competition
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09-25-04, 07:12 PM
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#2
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IP:
yea uppin for some crits
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The Competition
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09-25-04, 08:15 PM
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#3
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IP:
PUHLEEEEAAAAse crit
 if ur gonna make a poem crit this 1st thanks
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The Competition
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09-26-04, 10:38 PM
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#4
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IP:
uppin
puhla puhleeeease
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The Competition
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09-26-04, 11:38 PM
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#5
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$Thug Life$
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IP:
its nice dont kno why ppl dont post but it was a good poem...
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OutLawz
*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
«´¨`·..* G_$peed *..·´¨`» *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*   _____________________
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09-27-04, 01:45 PM
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#6
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
yea, this was great, lyrically, your ill, you have great vocabulary and rhyming ability,,,i liked the last paragraph the best, it really closed this out nicely, good topic too, keep em comin!!!!
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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09-27-04, 06:36 PM
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#7
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IP:
thanx fluid
why don't you join me and quick witted's crew itsTIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Competition
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09-29-04, 12:16 PM
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#8
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New to RB
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IP:
waddup another one that makes ya think it was good too i personally liked the first paragraph the best b/c it made me think more ni dont think anyone could ever change the cities mood
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   waddup gangsta!?!?! R.I.P. Isaiah Ryder 7/11/82 - 2/26/04 tell all my people i'm a Ridah nobody cries when we die we outlaws let me ride until I get free I live my life in tha fast lane got police chasen me-Tupac |
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09-29-04, 01:38 PM
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#9
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IP:
my favorite stanza in this would be the last one and the first one, proverse u did a nice job, u can tell ur poem wasn't rushed it flowed the way it was supposed to, my two favorite lines were
which is the attitude that keeps....the cities status as weak... we will ever reach our peek if we don't seek...the peace... ^good job^ ~wun~
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10-01-04, 06:28 PM
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#10
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atlas the vagabond
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IP:
i liked this one. The flow of it was nice, one that captures you and forces you to listen, but on a serious topic. I relate it, in terms of seriousness with flow, to Eminem's Renegade verse. It has the superior flow aspect of a battle verse, but it is not a battle verse. I liked that you seemed to take on a teacher role in this one, great stuff , great stuff. We want more.
drop honest feedback on my first piece. Why i'm always smiling |
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10-04-04, 12:49 PM
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#11
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New to RB
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IP:
yea, i like ur poetic gesture also you have a way of recieving the audience...well done!!
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