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Old 07-21-05, 09:47 PM   #1
Kawn Flixx
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Text Record: 70-13
First Love Ft Axel.

IP: 0AE0 3B1A

'First Love'
.
.
.
Axel.
.
.
[Verse 1.]
The texture of her palm struck me, when we first held hands
It felt as if my soul rised to the above, when our love began
My heart started to glow, as your love lifted me from below
The essence of your passion, rapidly filled my empty soul
Your smile always shined so bright,i knew you were my kind
Beauitiful fragrants of her perfume astounded my mind
Holding your hand gently, i could feel chills hit my finger tips
Success ran through my veins, after kissing her on the lips
Beautiful memories still float in my head, from our first hug
I couldnt get enough, After the passion of our first Love..

[Hook.]
Tenderness Just Renders This With Every Slender Kiss...
Cause Every Moment Im With You I'll Remember It...
It Never Hurts Much When Loves Works Rushed...
Cause You Made It So Deep With That First Love..

[Verse 2.]
Beauty surrounds me just like the night lit sky filled with stars...
Gleaming so preciously in my hand as we both build our hearts...
So thrilled to start, a whole new life with the one I love so dearly...
Love seen so clearly by many as cupid's little arrow spears me...
Effecting me severely, As my heart throbs to be next to yours...
Beating faster, yearning constantly for you, I cant object no more...
I bet it's pure, yet im sure, like a spring waterfall crashing to rocks...
I'm falling hard, splashing so deep into your love, catching the drops...
As they trickle smoothly over my skin, trembling with words hushed...
Cause I'm drowning in your passion so deep, all from that first Love...

BoneCollector

[Verse 3.]
The first time i layed my eyes on you ..I know you where the one for me..
I told me friends..to get your number cus i was to scared to ask..u see..
You made me feel like i had butterfly's in my stomach everytime i'd see you..
The one chick i would persue and wish to have & soon be my baby..yes it true..
Like i had been under a spell..that only made me wanna be with you and no other chick..
Then i saw my opening ..I tried to be slick..and move in to make the first move quick..
I ask'd whats your name?...and with her beutiful voice she replied..names Claribel...
And from there on i knew ..that chick was my baby..and it wasnt hard to tell..
You'd be the reason i would wake up in the morning wanting to go to school...
Giving you more then a jewel..i gave you my heart..never wishing to do you cruel..

[Hook.]
Tenderness Just Renders This With Every Slender Kiss...
Cause Every Moment Im With You I'll Remember It...
It Never Hurts Much When Loves Works Rushed...
Cause You Made It So Deep With That First Love..


"First Date"

[Verse 3.]
I remember the day like it was yesterday...We had planned the whole thing out..
We had told our parents what we were doing..because we had nothing to lie about..
Then the day finally came.. The first time i held your hand..i couldnt let go...
I asked her if she really loved me or is this a joke..it was my desire to know..
She said"I Love You No Matter What"And came in close for our first kiss..
In that split second..our lips touched..& i had felt like heaven had actually exists..
I sat through the movie ..not caring what happened..just wanting to be close to you..
You were my world my one and only baby boo and i didnt care if the whole world knew..
But like every fairy tell story ...it all ways comes to an end sometime in life..
All the hard times we been through came to end..an you didnt become my wife..


http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=201076
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200019
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Last edited by BoneCollector : 07-21-05 at 09:53 PM.
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Old 07-21-05, 09:49 PM   #2
Axel.
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Word.

Turned out as I expected.
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Old 07-21-05, 11:31 PM   #3
Axel.
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No feed people ? don't be sleeping on this OM.

Leave links, and me and Boner will get to em.

Upping.
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Old 07-22-05, 12:08 AM   #4
Technical
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haha..nice, everything was good..flow was coo..but multis covered for it..hook was deep, whole song was deep man, yall did a good job, I would like to hear this on audio man..make it happen, nice

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Old 07-22-05, 12:09 AM   #5
Kawn Flixx
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^thankz for the feed...
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Old 07-22-05, 07:28 AM   #6
Dervla
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Axel-Loved your imagery in your verse. Decent emotion Loved it. Upp on vocab, structure is nice. THe fllow is good.

Bone Collector- I liked the imagery, the emotion was lacking in your verse. Don't stretch cha lines that much, good flow though, your verse was more of a "Story" verse which is cool, good.

This was a good callab, axel is the best aspect in this collab in my opinion just tooked over with it's imagery and the emotion. Bone Collector nice imagery keep dropping.

Plz Leave feed on my newest om called "SunSet In Heaven"....
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Old 07-22-05, 10:02 AM   #7
Axel.
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Wordness. Thanks for the feed.

Upping.
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Old 07-25-05, 01:12 AM   #8
Kawn Flixx
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Text Record: 70-13
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Upping..this can we get some more feedback
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Old 09-06-05, 11:43 PM   #9
Willa
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ok bone collector from reading your other peices this is ssssooooo much better your flow was good on this becasue you didnt have stretched lines like in your other verses
your vocab wasnt as good but i could relate to this much better
the hook was good whoever wrote it i was feeling it
axel ive never read your stuff befor bbut you were pretty good good flow imagery everything hope to see more from you
props to boith best ive seen from bone
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